Colon-itis: the joy of punctuation
Save Our Semicolon, don't misuse apostrophe's - plus a wee plea
You may have seen or heard the story recently about a marked decline in the use of the semicolon; a report in The Guardian concluded ‘67% of British students rarely use it’.
And as you may have clocked in the paragraph above, I’ve already used it in this article. I don’t have shares in it, but I do like its subtle utility which pitches it halfway in effect between a comma – which kinda gives a phrase a brief pause for breath – and a full stop.
I’m well aware I’m not typical in my slightly obsessive approach to punctuation – about it I am punctillious [= showing great attention to detail] – but I hope to make the case for giving it, and consideration of punctuation in general, a bit more houseroom.
I’d be the first to admit I sometimes agonise over where and whether to use the humble hybrid punctuation mark; particularly where it is more appropriate than its full-fat sibling, the colon.
It doesn’t help, in obsessiveness terms, that I’m currently knee-deep in proofreading a big project. So my typo eyes are glaring.
More on punctuation in a mo, and some guidance and suggestions if you’re confounded by full and/or semicolons (spoiler alert: I don’t claim punctuation infallibility).
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Now, back to the punctuation [dot dot dot].
I visualise a sentence with a semicolon in the middle as taking a more gentle incline up to that punctuation mark, and an equally gentle slope back down from it.
Colonic irritation
So: where to use the ripped, full-strength colon, or its half-arsed sidekick (forgive my Anglo-Saxon)?
Well, you’ll have spotted the use of the 100% colon in the sentence above; I think of it as a bit of a fanfare, heralding a statement that follows.
Probably a stronger example would be something like … ‘I looked up the weather for today: it’s going to rain.’
I built an expectation up in the first half of that sentence, and the colon promised a resolution.
My trusty (rusty?) Oxford Style Manual (as in Oxford University Press) says the colon fulfils the same function as ‘words such as namely … because … [and] therefore …’
By comparison, I visualise a sentence with a semicolon in the middle as taking a more gentle incline up to that punctuation mark, and an equally gentle slope back down from it.
It’s almost like Hebrew poetry (recalling my Sunday schooldays) which rhymes ideas rather than sounds.
In fact, the first line of Psalm 23 from the Bible contains a semicolon, certainly in this English translation you may be used to: The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
That might be paraphrased, The Lord cares for me like a shepherd looks after their flock of sheep; my needs will be met.
The style manual says a semicolon could substitute for ‘coordinating conjunctions’ – i.e., words that are the connective tissue of a sentence, such as but, and, or for.
So a semicolon is a step up from a comma, but not as shouty as a colon. What’s not to like?
I’m saddened therefore, and slightly irritated, that such a useful little creature is dying before our eyes; it doesn’t have to be like this (see what I did there?).
Other punctuation marks are available
I had and have a bigger worry: that it’s the apostrophe that’s really endangered. I won’t go into huge detail on it here, but if you’re in any doubt about its use, try dear old Aunty – the BBC – here.
As long as we have greengrocers the apostrophe shouldn’t entirely disappear, but there is a catch: the price tags might provide all the right punctuation marks, just not necessarily in the right order (e.g. potatoe’s). I say that with affection.
Hence my little allusion to that misuse in the subheadline at the top; in that context ‘apostrophes’ (plural) didn’t need an apostrophe. But you knew that.
Ellipses – the ‘dot dot dots’ beloved of Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw (And Just Like That…) – will have to wait for another day.
You may be relieved.
The (full) point of punctuation?
The full point (aka full stop) doesn’t seem endangered, so not all punctuation marks are created equal. But they do have one thing in common: they were never born to annoy, or to create schisms, fuel snobbery, or to become an end in themselves – certainly not for most folk.
They are there, quite simply, to provide clarity – pure and simple.
I could point out I’m sitting writing this at my kitchen table – wooden, square, and with hard edges.
As well as a rephrase, a colon might help make it a bit clearer if the description is about the table or me.
See: they do have their uses. Colons and tables, that is.